50 thoughts at year 50 · Chandima Kulathilake

This week I turn 50, people that I care about have said that’s significant and I should celebrate. I am not a one for much celebration, but I think I will make an exception. I’ve had the privilege to meet and get to know many people from varied backgrounds under different circumstances. Thanks to everyone who has pointed me in the right direction when I needed it the most. Below are some quotes, readings (from books) and thoughts from various stages that I had scribbled down which helped me to navigate my personal and professional life.

My hope is that if you are reading this it may also help you.

These are not in any particular order. Enjoy!

Give control, not orders.
Empowerment leads to Engagement.
Always question the status quo.
The first rule of happiness is low expectations.
There are no fixed ladders of development. We each have our own unique web.
People achieve their best outcomes through personalised paths that play to their strengths and interests. We need to move away from the one-size-fits-all model and towards systems that are flexible and responsive to individual needs and differences.
If you reframe salespeople’s jobs as helpers or coaches, you get more opportunities.
It’s essential to know not just what customers want to achieve but also their starting point to effectively design their progress towards a solution.
Aligning with the job to be done (JTBD) is what matters most.
Shaping – Before any work begins, things need to be properly “shaped”. This means defining the scope (what problem you’re solving) as well as the appetite (how much time you want to spend on it). It is rough enough where you have freedom, but constrained enough where you know what problem you are solving. You also need to define any rabbit holes or risks ahead of time to avoid a time sink.
Hopefulness, enthusiasm, or a lively interest in one’s surroundings is the opposite of depression; laughter is the opposite of despair.
Innovating means not simply generating ideas but disseminating them.
Word of mouth is key. Do all you can to facilitate this. People trust word of mouth recommendations.
Emotion – When we care, we share. People are more likely to share something if it evokes strong emotions. Whether it’s humour, awe, or even anger, the stronger the emotional response, the more likely it is to be shared.
Social Currency – We share things that make us look good. It emphasizes finding the “inner remarkability” in something, which in turn makes people feel like insiders and encourages them to share it with others.
An individual’s behaviour or performance cannot be separated from the context. The same person might perform differently in different environments or under different circumstances, challenging the notion of fixed abilities.
Insight and mindfulness are the best stress relievers in that it helps you get to the root cause of the stress rather than treating surface issues.
People don’t want accuracy, they want certainty.
Everything worth pursuing comes with some pain. The trick is not minding it.
Risk is what remains after you’ve tried to mitigate everything you can think of. Risk is what you don’t (or can’t) see.
New way of looking at things leads to far more innovation than new ways of doing things.
Emotional – make things emotional, not analytical. People remember how you made them feel, not what you said.
T.S. Eliot, “A condition of complete simplicity… costing not less than everything.”
Nothing happens until after you commit, and it’s only after you commit that you know what freedom feels like.
The art of leadership is making others feel like your idea is their idea.
Ask not what’s in it for me but what can I do for you.
It’s what you know about who you know.
Ask… How? When? Why? When you want to dig deep and make a connection, there is no better or safer way than asking these questions. They will tell you what they are willing to talk about.
Think big but act small – both in terms of your ego and the details you care about.
Ideas don’t make you rich. Correct execution of good ideas makes you rich.
What does not move is dead. Motion equals life, possibilities, keep moving.
There is nothing more therapeutic than action.
Retain the craftsman’s spirit – it’s the work that matters.
Not about how many people you know but how many people you’ve helped.
We are all wired to fear the downsides of uncertainty, but we forget that change, creation, transformation, and innovation rarely show up without some measure of it.
The universe is as large as your awareness. Cultivate your awareness to increase the size of your universe.
The best work is the work you’re excited about.
Present your ideas, don’t promote them.
Empathy for those suffering the problem must come before your passion for the solution.
“So far as I know” – nobody knows everything, be open, humble.
Focus more on the services rendered than the riches you shall receive.
Courage is not the absence of Fear.
You can’t get to success without risking failure.
True confidence is quiet; insecurity is loud.
An honest appraisal is all about giving your mind better data to predict with.
An argument that needs repetition is rarely convincing.
Effectiveness knows what efficiency will never learn.
Mindfulness helps you step up and thrive and enjoy the pressure rather than succumbing to it.
Flow or being in the zone can be summarized as being intensely focused while slightly not caring.
The scariest and most courageous thing you’ll ever do is to be yourself.